Worship the Giant God Ailuropoda!
by RussM
Summary: Daphne and Velma face a fate worse than death. Who, or what could possible save them? A man without a shirt? HIM? And why is on first name terms with HIM? Park of a contribution to the Kinktober challange over at DeviantArt. Day 27- Worship


"So let me get this straight," the sheriff spoke in a doubtful drawl, he leant forwards and looked over his glasses at Fred "your girlfriend," Fred nodded the sheriff then looked at Shaggy "and your girlfriend." now it was Shaggy's turn to nod "Have both been kidnapped by a group of monks who fled the scene in a badly driven delivery van."

"Like yeah, but they'll be easy to track man, I mean how often do you see monks these days?"

Sheriff pointed his thumb over his shoulder, "Largest monastery in the county just down the road. You can't walk down the street without tripping over a Trappist."

"But sheriff, aren't Trappists a closed order, they rarely leave their monastery sir." Fred said quizzically.

"They're the only order than scanned, plus they make good beer." the sheriff gave a moment's thought "Probably why they don't leave their monastery."

Fred looked at his phone "That's a Cistercian monastery down the road, you could have said colliding with a Cistercian."

"Hmmmm, not as catchy, too many syllables, it takes too long."

"What if you did it faster."

"Damn it son, if you start colliding Cistercians together at high speed, who knows what'll happen?"

"I meant use a different poetic metre, not as a physics experiment."

"That sort of linguistic shenanigans is more suited to battle rapping than…"

"We're getting off the point! The girls have been kidnapped!" Shaggy shouted, all eyes in the station were on him.

The sheriff sighed, "Ok, now why don't you tell me exactly what happened."

Fred nodded "Well sheriff we were looking for clues to the missing equipment from the university's plant sciences department, they had seen some giant plant creatures walking about campus on the day the equipment had gone missing. We had followed a trail of leaves to a nearby set of warehouses and split up to look for clues, Daphne and Velma went one down one alley and we went the other."

"Like, then there was the screeching of tyres, sounds of a van door sliding open, then, emm, then we heard the girls scream."

The first anyone of them knew something was up was the sound of a van screeching to a halt and the girls screaming. Fred and Shaggy turned around to see a group of monks pile awkwardly out of a delivery van and waddle quickly towards the girls. In short order the girls were overpowered, pushed head-first into long green tubes which left just their feet sticking out of the bottom then tossed into the back of a van. By the time Fred, Shaggy and Scooby had raced to the scene the van containing the girls was already heading into the distance, weaving from side to side careening down the road scattering traffic as it went.

"And like we came right here, Scooby wrote down the license plate." Scooby held up the piece of paper for the sheriff to see.

UR51DA3

"Like, it's a clue."

"Bearly."

While the boys explained to the sheriff what had happened the girls were busy rolling around inside the back of the van as it made its way down an unmade road, a very unmade road. By the time the van stopped the girls were too dizzy from rolling back and forth to notice that the van had stopped moving. With no hint of effort each tube was pulled out of the van and hoisted over a shoulder and carried away. It was hard for either of the girls to get any bearing of where they were. The best they could work out was that after being carried for a while they had been rolled down several flights of stairs. Whatever they were in was strong enough to absorb most of the knocks and bumps they had to endure. After the last flight of stairs had been rolled down neither of them knew which way was up. The tubes were then dragged a short way before there was a brief pause. Dull metallic clinking and clanking, the protest of hinges then the dragging briefly resumed before the tubed were dropped onto the floor. Each tube was picked up in turn and shaken till the occupant had fallen out. Monks then crowded round, locking thick metal shackles on their wrists and ankles with oversized padlocks. The wrist and ankle shackles were joined by several links of heavy chain. These in turn were connected by a longer length of equally heavy chain about the length of their legs. Each of the girls were laid on the ground next to each other. There was another round of creaking hinges and the clanking of metal before silence.

The sheriff was about to speak when he was interrupted by a commotion from the front desk. Numerous voices of complaint could be heard, one complaining about a badly driven delivery van that almost hit their car at an intersection, another about a similar van which had run through a stop light, a group of heavily-built hooded monks who had barged people out of the way and just made animal growling noises at anyone who complained. Then there was a call from a van rental company whose yard had been broken into and a van stolen, they reported what looked like claw marks slashed into walls and doors. Over the radio came a report from a squad car, it had been in a collision with a delivery van and run off the road. The officer had recovered the van's licence plate from the road, it matched that which had been used to kidnap the girls. Sheriff, Fred and Shaggy stopped and looked at each other.

Slowly the world stopped spinning for the girls and their eyes became adjusted to the gloom. They looked about to find themselves in a large cage in a gloomy dank room.

"What the hell?" Velma rolled onto her side and slowly sat up.

"Yeah, we're not in Kansas anymore, that's for sure." Daphne groaned and looked about "at least we're alone."

"Good, I can throw-up in private." Velma moaned quietly.

"Please don't, and don't even mention it, or there'll be a chain reaction."

"Sorry," Velma rested her head her hands before slowly lying back down "got up too soon."

"What the hell Vel, what happened?"

"I have no idea, only that this is _not _how this normally happens."

Daphne carefully sat up "This is overkill, I mean these things _and _a cage." Daphne looked down at her chains "I'm not the hulk."

"Hmmm, these are, odd." Velma looked at hers, she felt that familiar tingling in her brain, it was time to do the clue thing. The chains were crudely made affairs, each link resembled bent bits of thick rebar and had to weigh several pounds. The shackles had a similarly crude construction and just as heavy as the chain links. Everything was held in place by oversized, and heavy, padlocks.

"Uhhh, and they weigh a ton." Daphne struggled to stand up. She gave a few practice steps before sitting back down not wanting to waste energy for no reason "No running away then." Velma looked at Daphne, their chains, then at their surroundings.

"Hmmmm, yet they moved the chains, and us, without any obvious effort." Velma looked about thoughtfully "And their idea of manufacturing is what, hit things with a hammer till they bend? You can buy chains, this is beyond 'rustic', I mean seriously we're gonna need a tetanus jab after this."

"Clue?" Daphne raised an eyebrow, Velma nodded. It was the old double act, Daphne spotted the clue and Velma saw the implications, even if she was so busy ranting about them that she didn't notice, or her use of the word 'gonna'.

"Everything is very big, way to big, the shackles, the chains, the padlocks, the keyhole in the padlocks, the bars." Velma grunted as she crawled to the door of the cage, dragging her chains behind her "Jinkies, these are really heavy." It took her several attempts to reach through the bars and feel the lock on the other side "yep, the keyhole here as well."

She crawled back to Daphne who was pondering something.

"Hmmmmm." Daphne gave a troubled frown.

"Daph?"

"Those weren't human hands that grabbed us. I thought it was just because of their disguise but now." Daphne whispered, shuffling close to Velma.

"Yeah, it felt like it took two of them to lock these things on. Jinkies, look," Velma pointed to the shackle around her left wrist "It looks like, fur?" Several long black strands were trapped between where the metal joined.

"So?"

"They're not human. None of this is designed for use by human hands, ergo, not human."

"Felt like they had problems gripping." Daphne nodded "That'll explain the mad driving."

"Hmm, I mean they could have a disguise over a disguise, just to throw us off."

"Vel, look!" Daphne nodded through the bars to the wall opposite.

"Those are the tubes they shoved over us?" Velma squinted "It, it looks like."

"Bamboo?"

"Yeah, but much too big to be normal bamboo. Perhaps we've solved the mystery of why the equipment was stolen from the university."

"But not the mystery of why we're here."

"I'm sure we'll find out soon enough."

"Shhh, someones coming."

The girls looked at each other as a pair of monks walked towards the bars of their cage, the monks''round bodies, short legs and unusual waddling gait was the final clue.

"Like the Mondoshawans from The Fifth Element." Velma whispered as the monks approached the door to their cage.

The monks were each carrying a large bamboo cup pressed between both hands, Velma raised another eyebrow upon seeing how awkward their grip was, just as Daphne had said. The cups were placed by the bars of the cage.

The girls glanced at each other, an unspoken question passed between them.

"You can dispense with the disguise," said Velma sitting up straight.

"We _know _you're not human," said Daphne.

The monks looked at each other, there was some faint growling, almost like they were speaking to each other. They pulled back their hoods. They had human faces, but not human heads. It was clearly a mask and when hidden in the shadows of the hood was passable at a glance. But up close like this it was clear their head was the wrong size and shape. Their hands were also wrong, far too long. They reached up and with some difficulty pulled their masks off. The girls were now staring at a pair of giant pandas, wearing monks habits and standing on their hind legs.

"Did not see that one coming." whispered Daphne, Velma nodded in agreement.

"Froood arrrnd drrrrnk." one spoke with a growling voice "Errrrrrt ruup nrrrrow. Ruhh righ rrrreast ruhhh suuhmmmn rhuooo rooon." The monks went on all fours and bounded out of the room.

The girls sat in silence for a few seconds.

"Jeepers, and I thought Scooby could be hard to understand at times."

"So can Shaggy."

"No, he just doesn't make _sense _at times. The individual words I have no problem with, just the order."

"And speaking of the boys." Velma said quietly, finally letting her worries show through.

"They'll be looking Vel," Daphne held Velma's hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze "They'll move heaven and earth to find us, you know that."

"I heard them calling after us, they saw what happened."

"See, so hopefully they're hot on our heels."

"But bears, we deal with people wearing bear masks not the other way around, I think we're going to need a specialist for this Daph." Velma's face brightened "Fortunately Mr Fuzzy and friends forgot to check for our."

"Phones!" they said simultaneously and rummaged about their clothing for their phones.

"But they did put us a no signal dungeon." Daphne sagged as she looked at her phone.

"Here yes, but if we're moved we could send a message."

"How, we might not be able to use our phones."

"Ahh, I've an idea." Velma looked at her phone and then Daphne's "Pass me your phone Daph, yours is easier to hide being small and thin."

Daphne handed over the phone, Velma spent a couple of minutes tapping away on it before handing it back. "That'll get out our coordinates and send a message to every agency I can think of the moment it gets a signal. And the boys."

"Now what?"

"You hide it."

"Where?"

"Hmmm, got it." Velma clicked her fingers "Buttocks."

"I am not…" Daphne looked incredulous.

"Not your's, mine, they're bigger and just between the cheeks if you don't mind. I can unlock it that way."

"How? No, no. no, forget that I asked, I don't want to know how."

Velma got herself on all fours "Can't do it myself in these chains, so…"

"That's, emm, it's a new phone Vel." Daphne looked at her phone and Velma's backside.

"And I'm so glad you didn't get the XL Pro version. Now hurry up before they come back."

Daphne sighed, closed her eyes and pulled Velma's panties down.

"I am not writing this in my memoirs." Daphne whispered as she parted Velma's buttocks and carefully worked her phone, her nice, brand new and expensive phone between them. "At least it's still under warranty." Daphne sighed, phone in place she pulled up Velma's panties "All done."

"Thanks Daph." Velma looked at the cups by the bars "Better see what they left us."

What had been left was pickled bamboo shoots and some water.

"Better than nothing, especially the water."

They were finishing up their 'meal' when they heard a muffled commotion, it sounded like a woman shouting and protesting. They couldn't make out the words but they knew it wasn't a good sign.

"New arrival?" Asked Daphne

"Not if they arrived like us, sounds like they are being moved."

"Shhh," Daphne help up her finger for silence, there was a faint growling chant, it quickly grew louder grew louder.

"I think I've lost all interest in natural history." Velma whispered, she was scared and didn't care if Daphne knew it. She gripped Daphne's arm. Daphne held Velma's forearm.

"Be strong Vel, we'll get out of this, we always do."

There were six giant pandas this time, still wearing monks habits but without their masks. Two of them carried bamboo poles and were clearly the muscle. One carried strips of cloth in its extended forearms while two others carried stylised giant panda head masks with their mouths opened wide in a growl. This left one to open the door to their cage, not much but it demonstrated to Velma that these pandas had a level of forward planning that many of the crooks they normally dealt with lacked.

The cage door was unlocked and the pandas entered except the 'muscle' stood outside blocking the door with their bodies till the door was relocked. The panda heads were placed on the ground then the girls were pulled to their feet and separated from each other. Velma was freed freed from her chains bar one ankle, running was still impossible.

"Rraahheee rooor roooorhs rofff." One of the bears pointed at Velma.

Velma squinted. "I'm sorry, you, you want me to do what?"

The bear paused for a second "Ruuuhhhip, reeet ruuuuude." miming the actions of getting undress.

"Strip, strip nude, you want me to get naked?" Velma's jaw dropped open, she was incredulous. Being held hostage my sentient giant pandas was one thing, but _pervy _sentient giant pandas was beyond the pale.

"Reeehsss."

"I am _not _taking my clothes off." Velma stood there with her hands on her hips.

Daphne screamed as she was pulled close to one of the bears, a clawed hand pressed into her face.

"Ok, I'm taking my clothes off!" Velma raced to undress, sweater, t-shirt, bra all were on the floor within moments. The only delay was in working her panties down the length of the chains and getting her sock out from under the shackle. Soon Velma was completely nakled, her clothes in a pile on the floor, she stood there shivering covering herself with her hands.

"Rhooooou roooohhhs." The bear carrying the strips of cloth waddled over to her.

"New clothes?" Velma looked at the strips of black and white rags

"Reeeeahh."

"Better than nothing," Velma whispered as the took one of the sets.

The clothes such as they were consisted of black and white strips of torn cloth, knotted or crudely sewn together which became a kind of body harness and with a bit of extra knotting and cloth just about covered her dignity. In the process Velma took the opportunity to make sure the phone was still hidden. Once dressed Velma was reshackled then process repeated with Daphne.

"Ok, I'll undress." Daphne said quickly "No need to threaten anyone." Hoping to make things go easier. Once Daphne had changed and been reshackled the panda masks were put on each of their heads. The open mouth allowed them to see ahead and each other, but significantly limited their peripheral vision.

The door to their cage was unlocked and the muscle stood aside, the bear who had unlocked the door pointed to the girls then to the open door "Roooo raah rrerrerooooeee!"

"I give up." Daphne sighed, even Velma didn't have a clue what he said thought both worked out that the short term it meant 'follow us.

There was no real option but to follow their captors. Once the girls had shuffled outside of their cell the bears began to chant as they formed up around the girls. With a bear either side of them, one in front and one behind the girls shuffled along with them, struggling to keep pace in the heavy chains. It took a while, but finally after climbing three exhausting flights of stairs they arrived in a large open space, reminding them both of an abandoned cathedral or temple. In the centre of the space was a circle of 14 massive bamboo stems, each as thick as fully grown tree and almost as tall. The stems were arranged around a slightly raised stone circle at the center of which was a stone altar decorated with bamboo models of a giant panda. Twelve of the bamboo stems had a girl chained to it via a collar. Each dressed in the same kind of clothing and most wore panda masks while a couple had the masks on the floor near them having shaken them off. Velma glanced at their fellow captives, one of them, with long red frizzy hair looked really pissed, even more so than Daphne. As Daphne and Velma were walked up to their stems other pandas replaced the masks, pushing them down hard on the heads of the girls.

"That jointless 'thumb' might be useful for holding bamboo but when I get free I'm going to get all Darwin on your furry asses!" Daphne shouted as the pandas finished locking the collar round her neck.

"That made no sense whatsoever Daphne." Velma grunted as she was pushed against the bamboo pillar next to Daphne's "But I agree with the sentiment."

Once Daphne and Velma had been secured the pandas left, chanting loudly as they went out of the room. Once the panda's had gone a number of the girls shook their panda heads off. Velma stood still, squirming and clenching her buttocks.

"What are you doing?" asked one of the girls.

"Entering Daphne's pin number, so glad this doesn't have slide to unlock."

A few seconds later there was a muffled beep beep and Velma visibly relaxed

"What did you do?" came another voice.

"Called the cavalry. A specialist FBI unit, just hope they're still active."

That done Velma carefully bent her head forward to get rid of her mask, she didn't want to have her glasses knocked off. She blew the hair from her forehead and looked about, immediately drawn to the inscriptions on the wall and the altar.

"Jinkies, is that bear writing?"

"That's not a word," said one of the girls.

"Shut-up and let her work." Daphne retorted.

Velma was silent for a couple of minutes, occasionally muttering to herself, growling to Daphne's ears.

"So, any idea what it says?" Daphne squinted at the inscriptions, they seemed to be stylized bears in various poses and reminded her of Mayan glyphs.

"It's a hymn, a hymn to a giant, giant panda god."

"A hymn?"

"Tearing and chewing unbelievers like bamboo, Ailuropoda!

Pounding them into the ground to make a path, Ailuropoda!

Burying their broken heads, bamboo to grow from their eyes, Ailuropoda!

Sitting on their heads to crush them, Ailuropoda!

Bamboo! Bamboo! Bamboo!

Ailuropoda! Ailuropoda! Yadda yadda yadda…"

"So no Kumbaya or All Things Bright and Beautiful, I liked those." said Daphne wistfully.

"Yeah, this is not the 1662 Book of Common Prayer for sure." Velma continued to work through a different set of inscriptions "Jinkies, I think I've found out why we're here."

"Will we want to know?"

"Emmm, probably not." Velma raised her eyebrows.

There was a heavy pause.

"Why are we here?" All the girls shouted.

VElma sighed, there was no pleasing some people "We're the main event in a temple consecration ceremony I think, if I read the symbols correctly we're to be offered as a sacrifice to bring this panda god into the world so Mr Fuzzy can do the pounding and planting thing."

"Sacrifice!" several of the girls cried out in panic.

"Yeah, but not a 'you weren't using this heart were you?' kind of sacrifice."

"Is that good?"

"Well if we're deemed 'acceptable' as a sacrifice it looks like we'll undergo a prolonged and excruciatingly painful transformation into, something."

"How do you know?" One of the girls gasped "Is that what is says?"

"Well I don't for sure but I'm guessing it's going to be a suboptimal experience."

"Turned into what Vel? What does it say?" Daphne asked.

"Those accepted will be turned into human-panda hybrids so they can provide worship to Ailuropoda as, emm," Velma squinted at the text, tilting her head to one side "temple personal servants?"

"Personal servants?" Daphne raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"No, wait, oh I see I missed the noun inflection. Ok, right, a better translation would be 'temple prostitutes.'"

"Fuck them." said the girl with red frizzy hair.

"I think that's the whole idea." said Daphne.

"Yeah, I suppose this is what passes for sexy lingerie to a panda." the girl with red frizzy hair muttered darkly "hope they get turned on by being kicked in the balls."

Any further discussion was halted by the sounds of chanting and bamboo being rhythmically hit on the ground.

Two pandas dressed in black and white striped robes walked in front each holding a long bamboo pole like it was a ceremonial flag pole. Behind them came another wearing a bamboo headdress and whose robes were made from woven strips of bamboo, an open book rested on his paws. Behind them in two rows of six were another group of pandas wearing the same black and white robes as the first, these held bamboo poles in their hands which the hit on the ground in time to their chanting. Following on behind were numerous pandas wearing plain monks habits. They waddled in a solemn procession up to the circle then around it. As they walked past a stem one of the bears in white would leave the group and stand in front of it, placing the panda head back on the girl if they had shaken it off. The bamboo poles were placed in a hole in the stone circle just in front of the stem.

The pandas in monks habits formed up in rows facing the altar while what appeared to be the priest did one last circle of the group. The priest approached the raised stone circle carefully carrying the book in his paws. He struggled to step up onto the circle holding the book like he was, eventually having to go on all fours with the book in his mouth. Once there, he used the altar to help get himself on his hind legs, then there was the problem of opening the book and getting to the right page.

The chanting subsided as the priest began to read from the book "Raau, grrra! Ruuuuu ru-ru-ru-ruRA! Uuuuuurararr Ailuropoda!"

At every mention of Ailuropoda the assembled pandas fell prostrate on the floor. There was a long pause as they then struggled to get back on their hind legs before a few moments later repeating the whole process it all over again. There were further delays as the priest fumbled as he tried to turn the pages with his clawed hand.

"This is going to take a while isn't it?" Whispered Daphne, Velma nodded.

"I need to pee!" shouted one of the girls.

Despite the stop-start nature of it all the ceremony began to pick up the pace as the pandas found their stride, the chanting and the invocations of the priest became louder and more fervent. There was a growing tension in the air, _something_ was happening, the stone circle was beginning to glow. All ot the girls struggled and squirmed uncomfortably as a sense of unease began to grow inside them.

"Uhhh, my, my insides feel all funny." the girl next to Daphne exclaimed.

"I, I don't feel too good." Daphne agreed, she felt faint, her skin felt itchy and dry.

A new noise cut through the chanting, a low regular thudding, not from a dark dimension, not from the stone circle, not from the room but from outside. It was the sound of helicopters.

The priest stopped his chanting, pointing to a set of ornate doors.

"They're here!" a few of the girls shouted, hope clear in their voice.

"RGGGG! GRRR! Uhhhhhgrr, raaaa, Ra ra ggharrr…"

"What's he saying?" Daphne asked as the priest droned on.

"Wait."

The bulk of the congregation growled in unison and waddled towards the doors, many stopping to pick up bamboo poles on the way out.

Velma translates "'Once Ailuropoda arrives he will deal with the unbelievers and defilers. Not long my brothers before we enjoy the rewards of worship.'" Velma gave a dark look "Yeah, wonder what he means by that. Emm, where were we oh yes 'go my brother's, go fight the unbelievers so they do not defile this ceremony. Be Ailuropoda's claws of vengeance and strike them down like rotten bamboo.'"

"Arrr, raaaauhuhu, rgggghhh. Rahh, ruugh, rahh, ruuu ruug ruuh." The priest then pointed at those standing in front of the girls.

"He told the others to close the panels, I assume he means doors, and block with blocks, emmm."

"Rahh, ruuu." The priest spoke again, slowly, emphasising the sounds.

"Rahh, ruu?"  
"Ruu**u**."

"Oh, ruuu." The priest nodded as Velma pronounced the sound.  
"Oh, got it. Barricade them with heavy stones." Velma looked quite pleased with herself before she realised the girls were staring at her. "What?" Velma said defensively "Look, it's a hobby, Daphne plays the cello to relax, Fred makes models, Shaggy takes Scooby for a walk and I'm a member of the ancient and eldritch language club."

The priest bear pointed at Velma "Ruugh, arrrr, rah, raaghgaaa, rrrrru, ruuuhuhurr."

Velma gasped.

"What's wrong Vel, what did he say to you?" Daphne tried to look round.

"Emm, I'm to be the High Priestess, aka Head Prostitute, guess that's what I get for leaning liturgical bear."

"Only you Vel, this could only happen to you." Daphne slowly shook her head.

Once the doors were closed the remaining pandas easily moved heavy stone blocks next to the doors then returned to the ceremony. Things really picked up a pace, the priest waddled off the stone circle and began to walk around the outside of the circle of bamboo trunk roaring and growing. The chanting of the others grew louder as they joined the priest in his precession. The air began to take on a metallic taste and the girls flinched as static electricity began to dance about their chains. The stone circle began to glow brightly, it flowed up the bamboo poles that the pandas had put in the circle causing the tops to glow, spark and eventually catch fire. catching fire.

The chained girls struggled and cried out with all their might as the tension grew inside, all except Velma who found herself mouthing as different set of words to the rhythm and cadence of the panda chants.

"Wait, that's not right." Velma exclaimed as the revelation of what was going on hit her.

"No shit Velma!" Daphne looked desperately at the doors "Any time guys! Any time about now would be good!" she shouted.

"No, the ritual, it wasn't originally for a panda god of any size it was for, jinkies! Him."

The smoke from the burning bamboo began to flow towards the stone circle where it began to coalesce into a tall pillar stretching up to the ceiling. There was a low rumbling roar as a giant, giant panda began to form inside. Ailuropoda had arrived. Red sparks danced from his eyes, glowing black and white energy crackled from his claws. He pointed to the girls in turn a finger of energy ran from his claw and briefly engulfed them before shrinking back into them. Moments later the girls began to scream as the transformation began.

There was a pounding on the doors, the sounds of nearby gunfire.

"They're not going to make it!" One of the girls screamed "I'm changing!"

"Everyone! Close your eyes!" Velma cried out through her pain. It felt like her face was being pulled, the bones of her skull almost continuously breaking and reforming as her face began to slowly elongate into a muzzle.

"Vel?"

"Just do it! Now! Whatever you do, don't open them until I say so!"

"D, done."

"I'm going to give Mr Fuzzy a Sunday School lesson he'll never forget." Velma muttered as she shook her head, deliberately shaking the panda head off, and her glasses with it. She took a deep breath and began to shout

"Fhtagn mg ahog throdog Cthulhu, ymg' epgoka shagg throdog Cthulhu ch' l' fahf shugg throdog Cthulhu, mggoka'ai vulgtm ot ymg' hafh'drn, l' nog h' hafh Iiahe mgeptharanak! y'hah!"

Velma's words echoed around the room, to Daphne they seemed to get louder and louder, taking shape in front of her, she could hear the sea. The smell of giant panda was replaced by that of seawater, sulphurous mud and rotting seaweed. Something moved past her, the sound of wet leather slapping against itself, the low boom-boom of something too heavy to stand walking. She could feel the presence of a huge bulk filling the room. Her transformation paused, her fur stopped growing , her bones stopped breaking. There were panicked growls from the assembled pandas, the sound them trying to run, of them falling over, and then silence.

"Velma? Ah cahf ymg'?" it was not a voice, not a voice that was for human ears and it turned Daphne's brain to jelly "Ahf' ah llll bug, ahh ymg' ah mgepah'ehye?"

"F' ah hlirghh, f' ahlloigazath ymg' yaah." Velma shouted, the pain clear in her voice.

_Did, did it just call Velma by name?_ Daphne's mind scrabbled to keep hold of her sanity, the next second she cringed as the room was filled with a polyphonic roar of anger. Seconds later there was a growling scream as the priest was picked up, moments later bits of panda showered down on everyone. There was the distant thump as the remains of the priest slammed into a far wall. Ailuropoda briefly growled but more out of fear, Daphne could sense it backing up, there was another eldritch roar and then battle was truly joined. Despite all her luxuries one of Daphne's favourite things was a simple sleep mask as it let her focus on the sounds. She loved hearing the sounds of the dawn chorus, the soft silence of fresh snow, the laughter of her friends. The sound of a giant, giant panda god having its insides sucked out by an eldritch horror, not so much.

Then Daphne screamed, she doubled up in agony as the transformation quickly revered. It was over before she realised it. She stood there panting,

"Can, can I open my eyes now Vel?"

Velma just babbled away in the alien language she had been shouting in earlier,

"Take, take that as a no." Daphne whispered.

THe presence loomed over her, filling her nostrils with the smell of the deep ocean. Daphne felt her brain part company with itself as Cthulhu spoke once more.

"Ymg' ah mgep Scooby Snacks llll ymg' Velma?"

Epilogue

Daphne came back to reality to find Velma forcing chocolate into her mouth. She gave a brief, but muffled scream of terror before the melting chocolate soothed her fears.

"Back in the room Daphne, your back in the room." Velma clutched her shoulders.

"Huumm, mmm, mmmm, Daphne loves chocolate,,,"

Daphne idly reached up and brushed a bit of unidentified panda inside off Velma's shoulder. She looked about, There were a few bears still wearing robes lying stunned on the floor. Others were stumbling about aimlessly paying the girls no heed. The one with frizzy red hair was laughing maniacally and beating one of the pandas with a bamboo pole

"Is she still mad?" Daphne whispered

"No, does seem to find it quite cathartic though, can't really blame her."

Daphne looked at Velma and the last few moments came back to her "How come you are on first name terms with, with, whatever that was?" Daphne clutched the chocolate like it was the last on earth. For a second madness flickered in her eyes before ramming as much of the chocolate in her mouth as she could. Daphne closed her eyes and gave a contented sigh as the chocolate worked its magic.

"You know when I interned at NASA?"

"Muuh-hu."

"It wasn't NASA."

"Wuuuh?"

"Well…"

Everyone flinched as breaching charges made short work of the doors and that conversation,

"FBI!" an FBI SWAT team piled through the breach, fanning out to secure the entry point. A huge man strode through the breach, silhouetted by the daylight. His arms were like a regular man's thigh, the muscled taught with action from fighting bears, his skin shone with sweat from his exertion, he stood there and roared, challenging any bear to stand and fight. A panda bear staggered to its feet still stunned from what had happened. The man beat his chest and lepat into the air, landing, ready to fight, just in front of Daphne and Velma, Daphne's jaw dropped open, blindly Velma fumbled for some of the chocolate and rammed it in her mouth.

"Shirtless, put some pants on man!" shouted one of the SWAT team members.

(A/N. This is of course Shirtless Bear Fighter by Image Comics. If you have any bear problems then Shirtless is your man.)


End file.
